Jun18

…and she’ll cry if she wants to!

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My baby girl is exactly ten months old today!

She is such a great baby.  She is reserved and quiet and does her own thing whenever I am busy.  I can take her anywhere and not have to worry about bringing entertainment.  She is happy to just take in the situation and watch.

Kylee rarely cries.  The only time she really gets worked up is when she is hungry.  We joke that she goes from 0 – pissed in seconds when she is hungry.  To avoid any meltdowns I know to be prepared when meal time is near.  If I am on top of my game we can go all day without a single cry; but the food needs to be ready at a moment’s notice.

Over the last few days Kylee has had moments where she is absolutely un-sootheable and just plain unhappy.  That is not my baby.  She is usually all giggles and smiles when she makes eye contact with anyone but lately getting the slightest smirk is a challenge.

It's her (ten-month) birthday...

It’s her (ten-month) birthday…

Then we noticed her top teeth are coming in.

Reece was never a problem during teething.  We only knew he had teeth coming in when he chomped down on my finger one day and it hurt.  He wasn’t fussy, didn’t spike a temperature and was never restless.  One day he didn’t have teeth and the next, he did.

When Kylee’s bottom two broke through the gums she was a little fussier than normal but nothing crazy.  I was stoked!  I figured both my kids were teething champs!  I knew she still had a mouthful of teeth to come but if the first two were any example of what to expect, she, like Reece, was going to breeze right through this.  Jeeze, was I wrong!

Yesterday was the worst!  She is usually a great sleeper, but she wouldn’t sleep.  She usually will play by herself, but I had to be within her eyesight at all times.  She usually loves to be held, but she would wiggle and push off of me.  All of my usual tricks were useless.  I resorted to a baby painkiller and within an hour she finally slept.  When she woke up -after what turned out to be a decent nap- she was better but nowhere near my happy baby girl.  She was pitiful.

Today she seems to be more like her normal self and I have been walking on eggshells to keep it that way.  We’ve done some of her favorite things –shopping, acrobatics, tickle fests, playing with pots, pans, and plates- and I am proud to report we haven’t had any total meltdowns, just a few mini ones.

I know moms all over the world have been suffering through teething since the dawn of time but one of the highlights of my day yesterday was commiserating with another mom whose daughter is the same age as Kylee.  Her daughter was just as grumpy as mine and she and I sat on a park bench comparing the craziness of the last 24 hours as we held the girls and our older two played.  Sometimes misery needs company so that conversation came at just the right time.

With today being her ten-months birthday I am counting my lucky stars that the first bout of grumpiness took so long and is quite manageable.  I will admit that I my appearance has taken a hit and that it was past lunchtime before I changed out of my jammies but we are getting by.  Soon Kylee will have a beautiful smile of glistening white teeth and she will be my happy girl again.  Until then, you can find me walking circles around my house with Kylee in my arms and earplugs in my ears.

Jun16

The perks of a playground

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So I love my new house.  I think by now that is obvious.  What is even better is what the new house has brought our family -the kids specifically- other kids!

Our house is just steps away from a playground.  Most military housing have playgounds all over but this is the first time we are so close to one.  I can see it as I look out our front window and Reece can see it from his room window.

When we first moved in I had mixed feelings about having the park right outside our front door.  I knew the kids would love it but there could be some down sides.  First was that I would never get Reece to stop asking to go outside.  I consider myself an outdoorsy girl but I have other things to do during the day that would not get accomplished if I was watching Reece play all day.  Second, I worried about the constant screaming of other kids.  Kids tend to get loud when they’re having fun so I figured it would be a constant struggle to get a decent nap from the kids if other littles were making their enjoyment so obvious so close to our home.

Right outside our front door

Right outside our front door

Turns out my concerns were unnecessary.  Yes, Reece asks to go outside all the time but in addition to the playground we also have a fenced in backyard filled with toys so I can easily send him out back so I can stay inside taking care of chores or Kylee.  The other kids who play at the park are loud but the noise doesn’t really travel to our house.  Even with the windows open I hardly notice the screams and yelling.  Reece only hears it when he is playing near an open window.

Reece and I have developed a daily routine which has helped him adjust to the move and upcoming TDY Kyle will be going on.  He plays, eats lunch, naps, does homework, and then plays outside.  It has gotten easier and easier every day to get Reece to take a decent nap because he knows once he wakes up he is that much closer to playing outside.  Whenever he gets in a mood we go over his schedule and he begins to look forward to playing outside later in the day and doesn’t want to lose that privilege.

We have also met so many other little kids.  Reece has a new buddy a few doors down and asks to play with him every day.  They play on ride-on toys, play chase and follow the leader, and when Kyle is outside they go to the basketball hoop nearby and shoot around.  As the evening progresses more kids come outside.  By the time we take Reece inside it is bath time then bedtime.  He is completely exhausted every night which makes for happy parents.

This is one of the biggest things I miss from our time in DC.  We had neighbors that Reece loved!  I like that he looked forward to seeing someone other than mommy and daddy.  To one side he had a little girl around his age who he loved to play with and on the other two people who made mommy and daddy seem like chop liver.  In this new house we are surrounded by kids of all ages and Reece is happier than a pig in shit.  If his buddy isn’t outside there is a good chance another little kid is and in no time they will be best friends.

I am so happy we will be here for a few years so Reece and Kylee have a tribe of kids to grow up and play with and that playground right outside is perfect for getting kids together.

 

Jun12

Started the day in a funk and how I ended it.

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The first five –awake- minutes of my day went so well.  Reece crawled into our bed so I turned on some cartoons to snag a couple more minutes of shut-eye.  Just after 7, Kylee started babbling from her room just as Kyle came home from PT.  He scooped her up, changed her, and plopped her in the bed with Reece and I.  I had my whole little family within reach; things were great!

Then something changed and I can’t pinpoint why.  I was just in a funk.  The kids were normal at breakfast, Kyle was home longer than usual, and I got a good night sleep so why I was feeling ‘down’ was unknown to me.

I didn’t go for my long walk yesterday.  Things needed to be done and I was short on time so when something had to be sacrificed, the only solution was to forgo my long walk.  I planned on walking today but I didn’t want to.  It was a good thing I set out clothes the night before and quickly got dressed before coming down stairs because if I hadn’t I probably would have passed on the walk again today with no real reason besides my mood.

After walking, enjoying the fresh air, sunshine, and cool breeze I came home and quickly slipped back into the funk.  Again, the kids were good and there is no clearly identifiable reason why I would be so sour today but I was.  I set Reece in front of the TV and let him watch two episodes of Mickey as I tried to perk myself up.  I opened up the windows and picked up the house some more.  It made things a little better.

Then I remembered making plans to meet a friend and her two kids at the local splash-pad.  I dreaded it.  I lacked energy and motivation so wrestling two kids into swimwear and greasing them up in sunscreen carried no appeal for me.

But I did it.

I took the kids to the splash pad and let them be kids.  And you know what?  I changed me.  I soaked up every second.  Giggles and splashing and running and making friends and screaming and more giggles and taking in every drop of sunshine my skin would allow.

Turns out that is exactly what I needed.  I need to force myself out into the world when I am having a bad day and let my kids be kids.  And I need to pull a page from my kids’ book and just have fun.  Be a kid.  Giggle.  Realize that nothing was holding me down besides myself and isn’t that just sad?

I am happy right now; back to my old self.  I am sun-kissed and full of energy.  This is the person I should be every day and I will force myself to this state whenever I feel differently.

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Jun10

The Descendants by Kaui Hart Hemmings

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Almost a year ago when we started making plans to move to Hawaii I bought a few books with a Hawaiian element; The Descendents by Kaui Hart Hemmings, being one of them.  It had pretty good reviews on Amazon and the movie was getting a lot of attention.  Unfortunately, it took about seven months for me to finish due to Kylee’s birth, moving, and my reading ADD.  There was a six month hiatus from when I first put it down until I started reading again but when I did start reading again I could not put it down.

The story follows Matt King, a decedent of the last Hawaiian royalty and the majority trustee of 25,000 acres of unspoiled and highly coveted Hawaiian land which he must decide the fate of.  His adventure seeking wife lay comatose in the hospital after a sport-boating accident and will be taken off life support in the coming days.

The Descendants by Kaui Hart Hemmings

The Descendants
by Kaui Hart Hemmings

Matt thinks it is best to spread the word of his wife’s terminal condition to their family and closest friends in person and he does so with his two daughters and one’s friend in tow.  While going through her belongings, Matt finds a note which implicates that she is having an affair so he decides to track down his wife’s lover to give him the news and allow him to pay his respects before she dies.

During the adventure to track down her lover, Brian Speer, Matt realizes how much he has been absent in his wife and daughters’ life.  His youngest, Scottie, 10, acts out, says inappropriate things, and bullies other kids.  Alex, 17, struggles with alcohol and drug abuse and is a free spirit like her mother.  Alex confirms her mother’s affair when she tells Matt she saw her and Biran flirting and entering a house.  She says she confronted her mom, they fought, and haven’t spoken since so now she is plagued with guilt about how they ended things.

Last night Kyle and I watched the movie; I was let down.  I know it is impossible to bring the richness of a 320 page novel to a 120 minute movie but I felt it really missed something.   I feel Matt’s relationship with his daughters, his absence, fears, and rebuilding was more the meat of the novel rather than locating his wife’s lover.  Hemmings beautifully developed her characters along with their relationships and dialogue.

The dysfunctional parenting evolves to something practical, not necessarily pretty but it works for them.  In the movie, I could tell the developing relationship between Matt and his daughters had a role but, I think, for someone who hasn’t read the book it may not have been so obvious. The very last scene in the movie may have hinted at it but then it is too late.  In it, Matt brings ice cream to his youngest daughter as she sits on the couch watching TV.  A few seconds later his other daughter walks into the room and plops down on the couch next to her dad and shares the ice cream too.  Nothing is said.  They just share a blanket –the one off their mother’s deathbed- and ice cream as they watch TV.  I thought it was a great scene which really brought to head their patched relationship but to someone who hadn’t read the book, would it be anything more than three people watching TV?

I loved the book.  I would read it again and absolutely recommend it to a fellow reader.  Hemmings’ writing is fluid and captivating.  She made flawed characters lovable and difficult situations realistically comfortable.  The Hawaiian she uses feels authentic but not pretentious making it a universally relatable read.  Amazon shows he has a new book coming out in 2014 and I am eager to get my hands on a copy when it becomes available.

 

To give credit where credit is due, image stolen from www.amazon.com.

Ps.  That is a direct link to the book on Amazon.

Jun8

Birthday abs challenge fail, but I am healthier!

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It is ten days past my ‘birthday abs’ challenge and I am a little bummed to admit I don’t have rock-hard abs.  I was working out and eating better but it will take more than four months to erase the signs of two babies plus previous pudge.  I have never had abs before in my life so aiming to get some in a few months was –admittingly- a bit of a reach.

I am so proud of how active I have become since moving to Hawaii.  I may not always have the time or opportunity to go to the gym but that dose not stop me from working out.  I take every chance I can to burn a few extra calories.  Stairs instead of elevator?  Yep.  Parking in the back of the lot?  That’s me.  Walking whenever possible.  Of course.  These little changes aren’t going to get me abs of steal but they are better for me than not.

image

I’m happy

I also like to do little exercises throughout the day.  Ones that don’t take a lot of time but keep my muscles active.  When watching cartoons with the kids, instead of sitting idly on the couch, I do some crunches.  Or I toss Kylee in the air and do a squat when I catch her for a full body mini-workout.

I saw this idea on Pinterest in which you write 1-minute workouts on a popsicle stick and whenever you have a free minute you pick a random popsicle and do the exercise written on it.  What a great way to remind myself to get my ass moving than not having to plan a routine.  I can just grab a stick, read it, and do it.  Simple.

I am not saying, however, that I have been a good girl since making that challenge.  I have cheated on my diet many-a-times and taken days off from exercising.  Not that it is an excuse –but it did make it harder- was us moving.  It is hard to eat healthy and fit in a workout when you are living between two addresses.  Our stuff was at the old house and we were camping at the new.  We ate a lot of sandwiches, soup, and takeout over the last week and a half.  It is easier, when I am making this house a home all day, to make a sandwich in five minutes than put together a whole meal.

I am not perfect and when it comes to getting healthy I don’t think an immediate change it the best.  I honestly believe I can workout and eat healthy most of the time but still indulge in chocolate or pizza.  I know a lot of people won’t agree with that statement but I know, for myself, if I were to try to eradicate all chocolate from my house I would inevitably make a trip to a nearby gas station for some sweet indulgence.  I do so much better when I can live a little each day rather than adhering to a strict diet and be unhappy with my food.

I am fitter now than I have been in a long time, maybe even ever.  I like this feeling.  I like feeling comfortable in my clothes, having them fit me better, and going shopping for new ones that will look good.  I have noticed I am stronger, too.  As I unloaded and unpacked boxes I was able to lift some heavy stuff and I didn’t get winded as easily as I figured I would.

I like where I am but there is still a lot of room for improvement and I don’t plan on slowing down.  We are establishing a new routine in this new house allowing for regular walks and maybe some gym time after Kyle gets home from work.  This new kitchen also allows me to make more involved meals without being so secluded from the kids so cooking a variety of meals from home will become our normal.

Washboard abs are a long term goal, as is getting fit overall.  I hope at some point in the near future I am comfortable enough in my own skin to post a picture of my bare mid-section.  For right now though, I am happy that I can post on of me in fitted workout clothes without sucking in, editing, or any other tricks to falsifying my shape!

PS. I am publishing from my phone so if there are spelling, grammar, or any other stupid mistakes I -sort of-have an excuse. I will look it over and fix things once we’re home and i have time.

Jun6

Working my butt off (and forgetting)

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On Tuesday night as we tucked Reece into bed I had a realization that hit me like a cold shower, I forgot to write and publish today!  It was like a sweeping worried feeling, like I had forgotten my homework or forgot to study for a test.  It was a strange feeling and I beat myself up for forgetting as I got ready for bed.

When I first started writing –over a year ago- it was an everyday routine.  I would set aside time to get out my random thoughts and updates, feeling so much better once they were in word-form.  Then Kylee was born and things slowed down.  I didn’t have the time or mental capacity to write as frequently.  I always wanted to return to my earlier routine but that would have to wait until my life was a little more routine, itself.  Once Kylee settled down I began writing with some regularity again but then we moved to a tiny rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, screwing things up all over again.

The last box!

The last box!

Months had gone by before I was able to commit to writing every other day.  It was simpler than I anticipated.  I thought I would forget which days I was supposed to write, forgetting I wrote or didn’t write yesterday, but easily enough I got into the groove of things.  Every-other day allowed me some me time and reading on a regular basis.

This week has proven that no matter how simple I make things for myself I can still screw up the simplest pattern.

Last Friday I didn’t write.  This was a conscious choice.  We had moved into the new house, we were living on limited resources and I was stealing internet –sporadically- from one of my neighbors.  The kids were going a bit crazy, given we just messed up their routines, so to carve out an hour to write was not top priority.  I figured it be best for me to skip a day and focus on the kids while getting ready for the movers.

Tuesday’s missed publication?  That was just sheer absentmindedness.

Since the movers brought our stuff –Saturday- I have been working like a mule.  Besides heavy furniture, EVERYTHING was moved into the garage instead of our house -per our request so we don’t bring any uninvited roommates- so I am doing what I can to move us in while Kyle is at work.  The best time for me to move is when the kids nap; typically my writing time.  But since Saturday I have looked forward to nap time because it is when I am able most productive.

So here we are.  Thursday.  I haven’t blogged since Sunday but my house looks somewhat like a house.  The garage is left with only with garage stuff and there isn’t a single box left to unpack.  Not everything is in it’s place yet but it is close.  We are still working at figuring out our routine and I like where it is headed.  The kids are a bit mixed up but seem to be settling quicker than it took our last move.

I don’t want to think of my missing a post that I forgot or it lacked importance but rather, my blog took one for the team.  It self-sacrificed so that I may get this house and my family settled.

Good job Blog!  I am proud of you!

Jun2

I get to live in paradise AND have my own sink!

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I knew this house would be better than our first home in Hawaii but when we did our walk-through before signing the lease I felt this calm pour over me; this was home.

Besides the obvious –no bugs, central AC, 2.5 bathrooms- there are little things that I missed and I didn’t noticed I missed.  Like:

Drywall.  This house has drywall which helps it not feel like a prison cell like our last house.

Unobstructed windows.  No AC units overtaking these windows, light can actually get in.

Openness.  I can cook in my kitchen and still keep an eye on the kids!

Home, Sweet New-Home

Home, Sweet New-Home

Square footage.  I am a bit spoiled from growing up in Florida where houses have good sized rooms.  Here in Hawaii, you’re living large if you can fit a queen bed and a dresser in the same room.

A garage.  I like parking Cookie where I know she is safe from the elements and assholes.

Grass.  We have a fenced in backyard and I have already let Reece go outside and play by himself (I was watching him through the window though).  I like that the outside is so easily accessible to us; we are an outdoorsy-type family.

Bathroom.  In this house the kids have their own bathroom and Kyle and I have one.  Plus, our bathroom has TWO SINKS!  Sometimes it is the little things that make me happy!

Yesterday the movers packed our old house and moved everything here.  We had them set up the furniture in the rooms and leave everything else out in the garage so that we can go through it all piece by piece for a few different reasons.  One, bugs.  Kyle saw eight can spiders and countless bugs and geckos.  We want to be sure we aren’t bringing any unauthorized houseguests into our clean home.  Two, to get rid of stuff we no longer need.  I am done hanging onto shit we aren’t using.

I like this fresh new start.  All of the bedrooms are empty except for furniture and the walls are bare.  Kyle and I have a design scheme we have agreed on and have been shopping for items that fit our plan.  We figured if we are going to be in the house for a while we might as well make it a home, not just the place we sleep for the next few years.  It has been great bring on the same page about so much of this house.  Just a before sitting down to write I called Kyle over to the big wall by the stairs and asked him what he thought about blank, he liked my idea so now I must hunt for that particular item!

This is a house I am excited to invite people over to.  I know –and I knew that others knew- the last house was not a direct reflection on the people we are but I was still embarrassed for someone to walk through my front door.  Here, I want to throw parties and host friends and family who visit.  I want to give people a tour and show them every inch, not hide or cover blemishes.  I want it to feel like an established household not some temporary dwelling.  I want it all to fit together and look like a family lives here.

As the hours pass and more boxes are unloaded it is comforting to see this house come together.  I have felt so much happier being in this house than I did on my best day in the last place.  For five months I was tense, but here I feel relaxed.  Kyle and I are creating a home for the first time in our lives, not just a livable space.  This is where we’ll be for the next little while.  This is home.